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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

2014

by Dog Drivers

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1.
Hello? Yes, I'm calling about our interview today. Now it should only take an hour, that is, if you don't mind, And we're working on our voice synergy so excuse me if it rhymes. Now remind me again sir, Tell me what is your name, Tell me about that job you want, And tell me why you came, So, early to the app, We love to see go-getters, But your eagerness is making us think you got no one better And we're picky, Sorry if you don't amount, Cause I'm sure you want our ten buck wage, In your bank account. And no you will not get a letter, If you get rejected, Because we don't want a lawsuit, If you see where we are headed, Down a river of dreams, If your dreams are my dreams, No concern for the environment, Or violence overseas. Yes we're dog eat dog, I suggest you play the game, Pups are licking at my sweat, Before my standards start to wane. I just had a lovely breakfast, yes, Captain Crunch, No, that can't be right, I had an internship for lunch. Now these questions might get personal, So that we can fuck you over, I assure you can refuse them, But your chances might get lowered. You can be like me, If you fit my definition, A spitting image of my son, With a little more ambition. We are those guys. To begin I'll ask you, What you think you're strongest traits are, And I'll follow up by asking, Where you think you could improve. I'm assuming you have transportation, To our place of work, So and say we were to ask you, Would you want to make a move? Where do you see yourself, In twenty-thirty years, What was your college GPA, Was it ugly as you feared? Tell us about a time, When you handled something tough, And a time you demonstrated, When to show a bit of love. Using one word please describe, Your general average bladder size, We want our workers to remain, Productive for 8 hours a day. The bar is high I told you so, Don't think you'll have to duck, Show me what you're made of Because quite frankly, I don't give a fart. Eat this groove, you crazy crows. Feel the corporation in your bones. We're out of toner. Do you want a job? Making money gets me off. Duplicate. Assimilate. Fornicate. Reciprocate. Enter the machine, produce and consume. It's almost five, you'll be home soon. If you were a flower, What kind of flower would you be, And if you were a bee, Could you understand your reasoning? Why are you passionate about fast food? Give a nice answer, don't make it rude. You gotta know how to act, If you want this job, Unless your dad's got connections, You know- with the mob. Burps.
2.
Where is the groove, Cause I got the moves. Show me the bass, And I'll rock your face. She's in my pocket, I had her in my pocket. She's got the fuel, And I got the love rocket. I like my coffee black, And my legs over easy, My hand's on the ground, Cause my cooking ain't sleazy. We're all getting down, I'm the new man in town. I'm on the road, To ferocity, ho ho ho. I'm not just some random guy, I'm feeling like a (like a like a) pretty fly guy. That bass better loop, Cause I got hot poop. My heartbeat's like a drum, Six five four three two one. Nobody's gonna mock it, Cause I got her in my pocket.
3.
Criminal 03:20
Picturesque mountains invading your dreams, It seems, That you've exit the atmosphere. Glowing lights cover the skies and the trees, It seems, That you've entered the stratosphere. Black and white forests, Nausea in the living room, Monsters on the telly, Are digging your tomb. A friend who appears as an unruly guest, What are you telling me, lest I forget? What is my name? It's getting kind of late, Something's in the oven, And I think it's souffle. Water helps me sleep, But blood helps me boil, Put the pastries in some wraps, Cause I'm happy they're not foiled. Birdfeeder in a dark forest, I'm just a young boy, what will it take? The time the bottle was left behind, Good bye I said, I made a mistake. But it's easy to fast after dinner, And the eye has come knocking once more. So I'll feast on the chemistry, Oh but the chemistry, The old ways won't work any more. A fine winter's day, Wrapped up in a bag, Trickery, Mockery, Fleeing away. I'm doing the best that my mind will allow, Where is your good voice now? What is my name? It's getting kind of late, Something's in the oven, And I think it's souffle. Water helps me sleep, But blood helps me boil, Put the pastries in some wraps, Cause I'm happy they're not foiled. Fighting myself, My left and my right, Shaking and stirring, I can't sleep all night. I'm brought to tears, I can't let them see, The man in the mirror, Is staring at me. Red slipping out from my eyelids, Hear that crash, It's a photo I had. A moon rolling over, Dying at my place, I wanna land, Cause I'm flying in space. I'm pretty sure that I look like death, Get this old hag, Out of my bed. Smell of cigarettes and evergreens, It seems, I'm lost in the ground. Where is my rocket? Where is my life? It seems, I'm a bird without wings.
4.
Ground Beats 02:41
(First verse) Walking down the street, Two shoes on my feet, I see the butcher, Beating his meat. These leopard ladies, Are looking pretty neat. Lot's of bugs, Better get the deet. (Also first verse) So I got this nice new pair of socks with Two shoes on my feet. There are some strange people on my street like that one guy, Beating his meat. Ever since my girl left me every girl I see has been, Looking pretty neat, Man the weather's been good but these bugs, Better get the deet. (Second verse) I see a vendor Feeling the heat, He puts some meat in the oven and I think it's, Ground Beats. I hail a cab to take me, Down the road, There's a girl I'm meeting and well, She's getting pretty old. (Also second verse) Lamborghini on the side of the road, Jervis, only one player allowed on the tennis court at one time, Please, Ground Beats. I grab my jet to take me, Down the street, There's a girl I'm seeing and well, She's a pirate. Uhnn!
5.
Doing backwards cannonballs off the walls Horseshoe dangerous, horseshoe toss floss Bob Ross, this time he's carved out of moss Getting tired of eating this slop Clean it up with a mop Fry me up some patties flip flop Take me down to the food shop Hey man are you gonna eat that? Eat what? Hey man. hey What? Are you gonna eat that? What? That That right there Mashed potato, Self potato, I thought it was the answer, But the price-o, I paid-o. Got some half priced, Half priced gravy, But nobody is coming To my table, today-hee. Yeah they call me big gritties, Cause I like my grits gritty, And I don't give a nitty, Put em' in my oven mitties. Call me chicken wings, I'll fly em' to the nether. You think that's impressive but I just say, Whatever. FLIP THE PATTY GRILL ONE FOR MATTY I'M A GROWING BOY BUT YOU CAN CALL ME LATTY Hey man are you gonna eat that? That That right there

about

Fat grooves and big wieners, this one's for you.

Samples:
Kitchen Dish Clank - OwlStorm
Olla 9 (Pot Clank) - timlaroche
telephone (Pick up and Hang Up) - elveto

These sounds were used under the following license:
creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

The creators of these sounds do not endorse Dog Drivers or the use of the sounds in Dog Driver related projects.

credits

released August 11, 2014

Drivers:
Scott "Scottydog" Aker
Matt "Dogsby" Gadsby

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Dog Drivers Calgary, Alberta

The dog is a force of nature. You cannot control the dog, but with a tiny amount of musical ability and a bit of sloppy production- you can drive it.

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